function getPercentileText(survived) {
      if (survived === 18) return 'Top 1% of players today ';
      if (survived === 17) return 'Top 2% of players today ';
      if (survived === 16) return 'Top 3% of players today ';
      if (survived === 15) return 'Top 5% of players today ';
      if (survived >= 12 && survived <= 14) return 'Top 10% of players today ';
      if (survived >= 10 && survived <= 11) return 'Top 20% of players today ';
      if (survived >= 8 && survived <= 9) return 'Top 50% of players today ';
      return 'No trophy earned today ';
  }

I feel like I've been lied to!